Growing Up with my Best Friend-2 ©
† If you noticed you can see the © symbol itís because the stories you read I wrote them back years ago.† Steven and I wrote true stories of; ďTimes in our Lives.Ē I believe everyone has a story they could tell.† So if you have opened this Doc. than you must want to read this.† LOL†† We both write songs, Steven is an Associate BMI Writer and Publisher, some people hear this and say anyone can publish their own songs; Steven is a certified Songwriter Publisher though BMI for the public.† Steven was offered years back to go write with some of the top writers, but he knew I would not go.† I might clear up a question some may have thinking I didnít have my girls the 2 and 1/2† years because I said I wasnít always there.† Their Dad and I worked day by day because he worked too.† I just felt I could have been there more. †††††††††††
†† We are looking for a ghost writer for our stories; (before you starting thinking we write about ĒGhostĒ maybe you donít know the meaning, please take time and look it up.) I am no writer due to my lack of education, I have shorted the length of the stories for internet, the books will have more details.† I have a gift from God and have known about it for years.† I have never publicly made it known, for the fact people love to talk; they like to think God does talk to people like me.† What I mean by that is; Iím not perfect.†† I donít say this light heartily, I have questioned the Lord; why would show me these things?† No one would believe me if I told them.† But I do pray, some-times; all day.† I said this so youíll know what I am about to tell you, is not the first time something like this has happened. You can sign up for the internet free copy of the stories.† I have many stories that the Lord shown me about someone or something catastrophic events that had happen or going to happen, there are many stories of our lives
growing up, miracles God has done for us.††
† Three days before Johna passed away I got a real sick feeling, I told Steven I need to go over Momsí and stay with Johna because she wasnít going to be here much longerÖ
†† Thinking back when I was potty training, Johna took me for her first time.† Mom said; Johna take her to the bathroom and help her up there.† I remember her lifting me up there I tried to grab hold of the side, to lateÖMom yelled donít let her fall in, she struggled to get me out.† She said there now pee.† LOLÖLike the times we got up before Mom, weíd go in the kitchen.† The first time she made us mustard and bread sandwich, it was soured but we ate it.† Later she would stand on a chair and cook us an egg.† I hated milk, more than anyone could ever know; I would eat cereals with water. Good thing because many times we didnít have milk.† Dad would threaten me if I did not drink milk No matter; I couldnít stand the smell, I would hold it up and just gag, and even emesis.† Mom would tell him Stop!!† Sheís going to get sick.† Well later on I found out I was very lactose intolerance.† As years went on Johna would cook meals for the whole family, I would help her, she was a strong person, she was made to be that way, I remember Dad and Mom going on a motorcycle trip with some of his family.† Johna was young maybe in the 5th or 6th grade; it kinda makes a difference here meaning Cindy was a baby or Stacy was.† We had been alone before just not over night.† Mom didnít want to go, Dad said; Johna you can do this?† Of course sheís going to say yes but she was afraid, she never told them.
† As Steve and I got in the truck he asks are you going to be able to do this, he meant sit up that long. I was going through a lot myself, not able to walk real good and very week.† Later I had acute kidney failure, was told I was a diabetic and a crystallized gallbladder which they treated for irritable bowel symptoms for one year.† My blood presser was out of control, so many things; I have a story for that too.† Lets just say I was sick but would not tell Mom she had enough on her mind.† I wouldnít tell my best friend because she would want to help meÖsomehow.† I took a cassette tape that had a song on it Marksí wife sang; ďSomebodyís PrayingĒ . Johna loved the song, Later I recorded the song.† Steven and I walked in the room, Cindy, Mom; I think Judy was there.† Judy was such a big help for Mom, she was someone to talk to and knew she was praying. well everyone was praying.† Kate was a shoulder Mom could lean and cry on.† TwilaÖwell she always brighten up the day, making jokes sometimes you need that too. I walked in the living room Dad had his hands raised praying the TV volume was down, thatís not Dad.† Weldon was just sitting there with a faraway look.† Dad turned and said Hello babe.† I smile weekly I couldnít hold back the tears; you could feel it in the air.† I said Dad?† He shook his head.† People say youíve got to let it goÖReally?† Unless you have ever experience it, than you donít know what itís like.† The glue for our family was leaving.† As I wiped my eyes I heard Judy say; call me if you need me.† I walked into the room, Cindy had been giving Johna her shots.† She turned and said she needs to go to the bathroom.† We each got one side Mom said; be careful they said her bones are very week.† Mom said she already had a cracked rib.† So Cindy and I tried a couple of times, finally I yelled Steven! I said will you carry her to the restroom, after you get her in there Mom can help her then, so he did. He brought her back we got her settled down.†
† Mom looked old and withered, so tired and afraid.† I said Mom you need to go to the restroom or get something to eat?† Dad had walked in, he said Suzie you need to eat.† I can still see the sadness and tearsÖDad said; come on the girls are here theyíll call you, as he helped Mom up she turned and said; Johna Iím just right in here.† Johna said Mom, Iím going to be okay go.† Cindy said Iím going to go eat and change clothes; she had her work clothes on.† She said call me Tina if you need me.† I sat down on the bed beside Johna she said; Tina Iím sorry I didnít get you anything for your birthday; I didnít even get to get something for Honey Bun (Salena). Itís what she called her.† I said; Johna donít worry about things like that.† She said next year you and I will go do something, okay?† I just smiled than the tears started, she said donít cry youíve got to be strong for Mom and family.† She said Iím going to rest now, I said okay.† As I sat there I began praying asking the Lord donít let her suffer if he was going to take her.† I grabbed the oil Mom had sitting there (for anointing, prayer) I began to rub some on her hands and feet, I did this without even being conscience why.† She opened her eyes and smiled.† It wasnít till weeks later I realized the meaning.† She fell to sleep; Mom came in the room and said sheíll be asleep for awhile we gave her, her pain pills.† So I told Steven let go, I said Iíll be back in the morning Mom; so I can help you get her to the restroom.† She said Dadís been helping or that hospice lady†
† On the ride home I looked up in the sky thinking so this is life we live and die?† Leaving families with sadness, I donít understand why or how come she has to go, Lord sheís too young.† Next morning I woke early and told Steven I was going over there.† The girls were at their Dadsí I didnít call them to let them know she was worse, they were too young.† They had asked me would she get better; in my heart I knew but I told them God could still heal her.† Mark and Stacy were there they talked with Steve for awhile.† Iím sure they all have stories to tell about this time in their lives.† Johna was the world to all of us; she was always there for each one of us.† You would have thought she was the one that would tell you whatís on her mind, but she wasnít like that. She was kind and understanding, she tried to help everyone she could.†
† There is a story I wrote called ďJohna.Ē† These stories Iím telling now are just a glimpse of her life.† When she was in the 5th grade and I was in the 3rd there was a bully at school that would call her names everyday after school.† Dad had told us we better not be fighting at school, she was not afraid of this person but knew she would get a whipping for fighting.† This girl had just started that year so she didnít know us, just wanted to be mean.† She would call her Chocolate Drop; because we were dark.† And she called us the ďNĒ word.† She would throw rocks at us, Johna would say run Tina!† I was never so mad!† I said why donít you get her back?† She said Dad said we would get a whipping, itís alright sheíll get tired and pick on someone else.† Well that didnít happen, a few days and she was following us throwing rocks, I turned and said you better stop! She ran up push me down and said what are you going to do?† Johna turned around and said leave her alone.† The girl said; oh she talksÖthen ran up to her and started beating her; on her back and head she pulled her down by her hair, Johna was trying to shield her face the girl just kept beating her.† I jumped on her and yelled stop!† She pushed me off and said big baby, youíre a scaredy cat, sheís not meanÖCry! Go home.
† When we got home Johna went to the bathroom and clean herself up but she couldnít fix her face, she had scratches and cuts were the girls beat her up.† When dad got home he seen her and said come here.† What happen to her Sue?† Mom said I donít know I havenít seen her, they went over the park.† He asked her what happen.† I told you about fighting at school youíre going to get it!† Get in there!† He was going to whip her and he was mad meaning it would be bad.† I yell out; tell him!† He looked at me and said your next; Johna was crying and said Dad itís not her fault.† A girl at school did it. Sheís wanted to fight me everyday I walk away but she wonít stop, she throws rocks at us; I said she jumped on Johnasí back and pulled her to the ground by her hair and started hitting her in the face and all over.† He said that it Sue!† Iím not letting someone beat up on them, he said come tomorrow you whip her butt or donít come home.† Mom said; John Weldon!† Donít tell her that, he said okay if she starts the fight you finish it.† Mom was all about talking it out.† Dad told her fine, if she wants to fight try talking if that donít work, fight her and whip her butt!† I thought hallelujah! Sheís going to whip her butt.
† When we get older, yes you should talk it out, most grown ups will talk, you donít go around telling people I can whip you, kids do that.† But some kids need a little help knowing you canít beat up on everyone.† The day could not end fast enough, the girl was calling Johna name at recess and trying to fight her at school, this time Johna told her go ahead do it nowÖYou could tell the girl knew something was different; Johna had the look of revenge.† After school of course everyone was going to see the fight.†
The girl lived on the corner across from the school there were some beaches with a top. Of course she started; Johna said keep walking I didnít know why she was doing that.† When we got up to the beaches she turned around and said; Jane (what Iíll call her I donít use the real names) can we talk over here she started walking to the beaches, the girls said ; Oh you want to talk?† She followed I did too.†† Johna said; you go over there Tina. Go!†† Everyone knew she could beat her up, she ruled the neighborhood.† They had sat down and talked next thing I seen Johna had her by her hair, she pulled her off of school property she started kicking her said get up, the girl took a swing at her, Johna jumped on her and was beating her, the girl had brothers, they went in and got their Mom, she ran out screaming get off of her!! She jerked Johna off and started to hit her; all at once I heard Mom yell out, you better not hit her! She was running toward the lady, the lady let Johna go.† Mom was in her face told her you back off, your daughter has been beating on my daughter for days!† You havenít had a problem with that, she said back up if your daughter learned her lesson than Johna will quit.†† The girl took another swing at Johna so Johna hit her again.† The lady started to jump in Mom said I done warned you stay out of it.† She said Jane come on, well little did we know the girls Grandmother lived there too and had called the police.† They pulled up the lady ran over and started telling them how Johna beat her kid up.† One Officer came over and ask Mom and Johna what happened they told him everything.† The lady yelled she needs to be put in Juvenile Detention and I want to file charges on the lady.† The two officers talked one with each other than one went over and talked with the lady other one talked to us.† He asked; has she been beating on you. Johna said yes my Dad wouldnít let me fight back but today he said if she starts it I could fight back. He just smiled and said donít fight on school property and donít be fighting just to be. Okay?† Johna said yes sir.† The lady was still yelling as we walked off.† I said I didnít see you Mom; she said; I just knew something like that would happen; I wasnít going to let a grown woman beat on my kid.
† I stayed all day with Mom and Johna, she slept most of the time.† As the day went on the pain was getting worse.† Mom asked me should I give her more pain medicine.† She had some about 2 or 2 Ĺ hours ago.† I said well what did the nurse say?† She said I should keep her comfortable out of pain.† I said yeah Mom give her some.† (After her passing we heard someone was spreading the gossip Johna ODÖ People can be cruel.)† So Mom gave her a pill and took the glass in the kitchen.† As I sat there holding her hand trying not to cry but I couldnít; Johna said Tina donít cry theyíve been here all day, I said who are talking about?† Mom was standing in the door way she said, Angels† Johna said theyíve been camped out; Iím just waiting on him to come.† Dad came in the room he said she told me that too.† I donít know if it was fear or joy that came over me.† She said you know I Love you I said yes, I love you too, Mom started to cry Johna said Mom please donít cry. Dad lifted his hands and went back in the living room.† Mom walked out she couldnít control the crying.† Johna said see this, I looked over she had some yellow black meat looking in her hand, I said; what is that?† Mom was back, Johna said I donít know itís in my mouth.† I looked at Mom she shook her head, Johna said Iím going to sleep now; I said IĎm going to go home for awhile Iíll be back.† Mom walked out with me she said; that stuff is the roof of her mouth itís the cancer eating the top part of her mouth.† She started to cry, I said Mom itís going to be alright she said No itís not!† She started to go back in Lana and Grandma Cass pulled up about that time, Cindy came up too.† Stacy and Weldon were there; Mark couldnít make himself be there.††
† I had called Steve to come and get me; he came up. I said; I want to go home for awhile I needed to change clothes try to eat something.† Steven said; babe you need to lay down for awhile, you didnít sleep any last nigh youíve got to take care of yourself too, we pulled up the drive.† I guess it hit me wrong or maybe I needed someone to scream at I said; STOP talking to me!† Go away from me!† I donít need or want anyone around me!† First he yelled back said fine guess youíll die too.† I looked at him in disbelief he could say that to me.† I started crying and walked down the road.† He came running saying; I sorry I said that to you, I just donít want to loss you too.† Why wonít you tell them whatís going on with you. You need to eat and sleep some, she has everyone there they will called if she get worse.† So we went in the house he said I cooked some stew with some cornbread; let me get you some.† I said Iím going to change and take my pills.† I sat in the kitchen so he sat with me.† I told him she wonít last much longer he said she could.† Youíve got to trust the Lord; isnít it what you tell me?† I said; I know but I feel it.† It was around 10 pm I took a couple of bits and said I want to go back now; he said rue you didnít eat anything.† I said; Steven Iíve got to be there so we went back.† As soon as I got out of the truck I could hear a lot of crying I ran into her room, everyone was on the floor at her feet. Think Cindy was on other side standing and crying Dad came to the hall, I think Stacy was there and Weldon, Kat and I think Ladonna was there.† I said; MomÖI grabbed Johnaís hand I heard her say; whereís the baby?† I said what?† Then I started praying and said Devil you have NO right to be here in the name of Jesus.† Johna looked up and said Iím not lost TinaÖhe come to get me on a white horse. Mom was crying so badly, we all were, Johna said Mom please donít cry. Her breathing was getting slow I said have you called the hospice lady?† Mom said yes she told us to call 911, their on their way.† Things were in slow motion Johna was saying good bye to everyone the Ambulance was there they came rushing in.† Cindy said Iím going with her, they did want anyone to go but Cindy got in anyway.†
† Steven and I jumped in the truck, everyone else drove their car.† I think Dad called Bro. and Sis. Pair, Judy, Kate, Grandma Pair, and Twila they were all there.† I canít remember what everyone was doing or who else was there but the family?† Steve went to the window said they would calls us back as soon as she was stable.† I said what? She not going to get stable.† I said where are Mom and Dad and everyone else?† So I went to the window and asked; is there someone with her?† She got mad and said Iíll call you when sheís stable.† I looked at her and said OPEN that door! I said if she dies without me in there, Iím coming over that counter after you! Now Open the Door.† So she did.† The ER was full we went behide the curtain and everyone was there, they had her hooked up for breathing.† I think she ask for them not to try and revive her.††† Everyone was crying, I let Mom be by her side.† I think Cindy was at her feet. The nurse came in checked her and said it wonít be long now.† She started to leave but turned around and said youíre going to have to be quit, thereís a lot of patienceís in here. I donít know what kept me from strangling her.† Johna was wheezing so I called the nurse; she listen to her heart and said sheís going someone hold on to her! I looked at Mom; she shook her head no.† I said move than put my arms around her, whispered I Love you, its okay go home.† As I could hear her slipping away I stood there as long as I could, the nurse said not yet wait let me check her.† As I watched I felt I couldnít breathe, I said I have to go; I walked fast then ran out the emergency door.† I think everyone followed me, Steven yelled Tina! Stop! I just ran to him and cried; looking up in the sky and said No more painÖ
† Now the part youíve been waiting for.† Mom, Dad, Judy and Grandma Pair stayed to sign paper and make arrangements. The last thing I remember was; Cindy saying youíre the oldest now Tina, I knew what she meant.†† Steven and I got in the truck drove home. I sat there a minute.† Steve said babe you need to come in and eat and rest. Mom and Dad handled all the funeral arrangements, Iím sure Judy helped them. Dad had to sell her truck for the money.† I can remember the last day she drove her truck. You can read about that in ďJohna.Ē†† I walked slow looking in the sky thinking thereís a big celebration going on up there, and smiled.† We went into the house Steve said you need to eat; I said I will.† He said babe I have that big job tomorrow, do you need me to stay up with you for awhile?† I said No, he said well Iím going to lie down.† Iíll try to get done early so I can be with you.†
† I sat on the couch in the dark trying to grasp what just happened.† I went and changed clothes, lay on the bed with my eyes open just thinking; Lord, I know sheís with you but I got to know sheís alright.† I closed my eyes wiping away tears when I opened my eyes Johna was beside my bed, I couldnít see her face but I knew it was her. She held out her hand and said come with me.† As we walked out our bedroom door I looked back and seen Steve sleeping.† It was instant we were on a cloud and there was a big screen it wasnít a TV.† I asked her Johna are you Okay?† She said yes Tina.† There were Angels, 2 of them on other clouds and they too had a big screen in front of them.† I looked at the one in front of us, I seen someone Steve and I knew.† I said whatís going on here?† She said; do you know them?† I said yes, she said you need to tell her if she leaves; she better be ready; I said ready, is she going to die?† She said just tell her.† I watch the screen for a minute I seen John (Iíll call him John and her Jane) looking every-where for her and the kids. He was looking in alleys yelling her name, I seen him break down and cry. All at once I was back in the room.† I got back up went to the kitchen and was heating the food up and smiling, Thank the Lord for letting me see this.† A week later Steve was telling me about something and it clicked I seen the people again in my mind, I had been too distracted I forgot to tell him about what I seen.† I told him about how I had left the room and was with Johna in the clouds and what I seen about these people and what Johna told me to tell Jane.† He said he seen John and he was telling him that Jane had been talking with a man on the internet and said she was going to move there.† I said their getting divorce?† Steve said well he didnít say that.† I said I got to tell her not to go, something bad will happen.† He said is the man going to kill her, I said I donít know just she canít go.† The next morning John came over and Steve stood out there talking with him.† He told Steve he couldnít find her and the kids he said heíd been everywhere, he was crying.† Steve said; I had to tell him what you said. John said thatís what Iím afraid of, she went out of the country and donít even know this person.† I told him she has not left I feel that and sheís somewhere safe. John said safeÖmaybe she went to a women shelter.† He found her there, they reconciled for now.† Later she asked me; did you really see that.† I said you can ask Steve, I told him before we knew anything.† I said itís best if you broke it off with this person I donít feel heís who you think he is.
† The next day Mom had
a break down crying. (You can read more of this in ďJohnaĒ)
After I calmed her down, I asked do you need me to do anything.† She said yes, I want you and me to change her
clothes and get her ready; she wouldnít want strangers looking at her.† I knew she wasnít thinking because they
already did.† But I said okay mom, the
girls was there, they were sitting and listening.† Mom said you girls want to go with us?† I said; Mom.†
I know how close you were to Johna, I said I donít think they should.† Mom said girls you understand Johna is no longer here, remember what I taught you in
class?† When we die we go to heaven to
live with Jesus; she said, well you donít have to; maybe youíre right Tina
their too young.†
Would I do it again? I donít know.† I wasnít able to go to the hospital when Mom passed, they would have had to put me in or I would not leave.
Johnaís funeral was some what happyÖthey sang; ďStep back Angel here I come